


Uncertainties

by Mere



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 13:42:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13319367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mere/pseuds/Mere
Summary: Magnus has his insecurities and talks about them with Alec.





	Uncertainties

**Author's Note:**

> I was prompted with this, "how about a prompt set in like, early Malec relationship where Magnus is feeling kinda insecure/doubtful about Alec's feelings cos he thinks Alec still holds a torch for Jace but Alec tells him that he's the only person he has feelings for? I need some cute, loving, reassuring Alec in my life! Seen a couple fics with this prompt and I'd love your take on it :D"
> 
> I wasn't sure quite where to place this, after 1x12 for sure, maybe around 1x13-2x01 sometime. I think it is vague enough for that. This is my second work in this fandom, so your comments and kudos are most welcome! 
> 
> If you want to send me prompts, you can find me on tumblr at [merelore](http://www.merelore.tumblr.com). 
> 
> As always, I appreciate your support!

Magnus twirled the stem of the cocktail glass in his hands. Dark had set in Brooklyn, and Alexander was out doing his Shadowhunter thing. Oftentimes it was like this, one or the other of them couldn’t meet because of respective commitments. Alexander to the Shadowhunters, and him to the Downworld. Those nights could feel lonely at times. Isolating. Always wondering…  
  
His thoughts had wandered towards Alec more often than not recently — despite Alexander’s very dramatic change of mind during his wedding, of the unexpected kiss. Really, Alexander was always surprising him in different ways. Yet sometimes, he still had his doubts. Alexander was still so unsure of himself at times, of his place even within the Shadowhunter world. Or had been. He’d stood up to his family, after all. He’d made a choice, a big choice. That had seemed to lend Alexander some much needed strength, not that he wasn’t strong before…but something was different. He’d changed. And while Magnus knew Alexander had made the choice to be with him, he still wondered about Jace. About how much of Alexander still thought he had feelings for Jace. Magnus wasn’t entirely convinced that Alexander’s feelings had been totally romantic towards Jace, perhaps in some part, because Jace was there, and their parabatai bond.  
  
Which, Magnus knew, he really had nothing to be doubtful about. Magnus shifted his weight on the couch as he studied the curtains. He was an immortal warlock, and as he’d told Alexander before, not even he could see the future. There was nothing guaranteed in life, and Magnus had worked for what he had, for who he had become. He’d pieced himself back together after the disaster with Camille, he’d made it his mission not to love, not to care, but somehow, despite all of that, Alexander had slipped through his defenses. Alexander had started breaking down his walls, and Magnus was…well. He thought that he might be in love. But Alexander was young, even in his twenties, and Magnus, well, he was centuries old. Their experiences were totally different. He’d pushed Alexander once, and where had that gotten him? Alexander had run. Magnus was determined not to push Alexander again, he’d let Alexander make the moves first, let him set his own pace.  
  
But what if Alexander didn’t…his mind whispered the insecurities in his ear, that Alexander may still be in love with Jace. It was as he was draining the last of his cocktail there was a knock at the door. Magnus frowned. He didn’t particularly feel like dealing with anyone right at the moment.  
  
“Magnus?” Alexander’s voice could he heard after the brief knock.  
  
What timing Alexander had. It was almost like he had a sixth sense…then again, he was a Shadowhunter. Magnus’s lips quirked up into a small smile. He couldn’t help it, Alexander made him smile, made his veins buzz with the thrill of seeing him. It was an intoxicating feeling.  
  
“Alexander,” Magnus said as he opened the door, “What brings you by so late?” Magnus was surprised that Alexander was here with everything that was happening.  
  
Alec stepped into the apartment and Magnus took a few steps to the side and closed the door. He drifted behind Alec as Alec moved to the sitting area. Alexander sat in one of the chairs and crossed his legs. His eyes lingered on the drinks and up at Magnus.  
  
“Everything alright?”  
  
Magnus hesitated for a moment. Communication was vital, he’d learned that over his many years. Didn’t mean it was easy though, especially when it was someone you cared for.  
  
“I was thinking,” Magnus said as he walked over to the balcony doors and looked out into the night. “I do a lot of that, and sometimes it is easy to get caught up in it.”  
  
Alexander was still watching him, and Magnus didn’t have to imagine what it was like to meet those eyes, to feel the electricity that sparked between them. He saw Alexander change position in his seat, but his eyes didn’t drop.  
  
“And?” Alexander asked Magnus, prompting him to continue.  
  
“I occasionally remember the memory demon. Your fear of that memory of Jace.”  
  
“What about it?” Alec asked his voice low, almost curious. Magnus doesn’t say anything, and Alec doesn’t speak for a bit. The silence isn’t comforting, but it isn’t awkward either. It could be worse. Magnus isn’t sure how to voice that little niggling fear in the back of his mind. And it’s not a huge fear, and he is relatively confident that he knows Alexander’s answer, but there is always the chance he’s wrong. He was wrong about Camille in the end. He rubs his fingers together, and looks for his drink glass. It’s sitting on the tray where he’d placed it.  
  
“It’s, I know you and Jace —”  
  
“I don’t have feelings for him,” Alexander’s voice was tense and serious, “I know I haven’t said it all that much, but I don’t. Magnus, I’m here with you. You’re the one…” His voice trailed off and he gave a little smile. “I don’t love Jace. He is my parabatai. That’s it.”  
  
Alexander stood and walked to stand next to Magnus at the window, and Magnus said, “Thank you.”  
  
“I came to see how you were doing,” Alexander said apologetically, “But I have to get back to the institute. There is…”  
  
“Shadowhunter business. Go, I’ll see you.” Alexander looked him in the eyes again and Magnus smiled honestly, “Go,” he urged, “I’ll be fine. You might worry the institute if you’re not there.”  
  
Alec’s face twisted into an expression Magnus wasn’t sure what to make of, touched Magnus’s shoulder in a parting gesture, and left. Magnus watched the door close behind him, then moved to make himself another drink. But before he could pour anything, the door opened again and Magnus looked up in surprise. Most people didn’t just open his door if they wanted something from him. It was Alexander was leaning in the doorway, however. Magnus had a brief flash of worry and asked, “Alexander? Is there something wrong?”  
  
“You’re the only one I have feelings for,” Alexander said with a grin, and closed the door behind himself.  
  
Magnus was left staring after him, glass hanging from his hand in surprise.  
  
“You really never cease to surprise me.”


End file.
